This entire week has just been a failure
I don’t even know what I am doing
I just went on facebook and looked at all the disgusting photos of me and I feel a bit depressed.
I just want to be thin, just really skinny and pretty.
I’m starting again on monday but I just have lost a lot of faith over whether I am capable of this anymore…
Today I binged, so thats like a gazillion calories. I feel sick.
Today I ate
1 piece of toast with houmous
1 cup of tea with milk
1 bowl of spaghetti and meatballs
1 bowl of lettuce salad with tomatoes, cucumber, sweetcorn and french dressing
total: 1095 cals and 39g of fat.
Too much again. I’m going to have to change something. I need to start eating smaller portions at dinner but it is just so hard!!!
okay so today I ate
1 portion of beef fried rice
1 alpro soya chocolate dessert
2 omochi balls with red bean paste
this came to 1470 cals and 41g of fat.
I don’t know how this happened. I didn’t eat anything until dinner then I just carried on with the chocolate dessert and the omochi balls and everything went badly.
I didn’t realise they all contained so many calories? I thought it would be fine. Clearly not. I can’t actually believe it.
Went swimming but I don’t think it matters considering how much I ate.
(Source: diaryofafatserver)
Today I’ve already eaten
1 portion of paella and
1 squares bar
thats 538 cals and 9g of fat.
I really don’t want to eat anything else today but it’s really hard because my parents don’t let me diet. They always say, “just eat healthily” but they expect me to eat everything they cook which is all so fatty and oily and so bad!
I also can’t talk about my diet in front of my friends a lot as my best friend used to be anorexic and she doesn’t like me talking about food.
I don’t know what to do! My parents will ask me to eat dinner and I just can’t, I’ve already had my big meal today. I’ve already said I’ve felt ill a couple times to get them off my back but if I keep saying that they’ll start to get suspicious. Also, I don’t know if I have enough willpower to say no if they tempt me with food. :’(
UPDATE: I caved and ate dinner. Thats another 538 cals bringing the totals to 1,076. Waaayyy too much I know. But I’m not going to eat anything all of Saturday apart from dinner.
I did go swimming after dinner aswell, but still. OVER 1000 CALS. It’s just not acceptable.
Today I ate
1 bowl of rice
1 bowl of miso soup
1 smoked mackerel
Some cucumber and tomato as a salad
and then another alpro soya caramel desert - i need to stop eating these!
total: 504 cal and 15g of fat.
Today I ate
Shepherds Pie but like an enormous portion which was bad :(
and an alpro sya caramel dessert
overall i ate
998 cal and 35.3g of fat
I know its kind of bad but I was really hungry and just ate too much dinner
from now on ill try eat smaller portions
(Source: diaryofafatserver)
Today I ate
1 apple
10 slices of cucumber
1 carrot
1 bowl of rice
1 tin of tuna in brine.
according to myplate on livestrong.com
thats 541 cals, 5g fat
I think thats okay for day 1, but I didn’t do any exercise, I planned to go to this pilates class but I fell asleep. :(
(Source: skinnymehppy, via not-a-thinspo-blog-promise-deac)
(Source: diaryofafatserver)
